


Moving On

by daisy_is_always_cold



Series: Marvel Oneshots [3]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Other
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-17
Updated: 2019-09-17
Packaged: 2020-10-20 07:23:12
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,064
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20671505
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/daisy_is_always_cold/pseuds/daisy_is_always_cold
Summary: (Y/N) is trying to move on and the Avengers won't let her go without a fight.





	Moving On

WARNING: MENTIONS OF RAPE

It wasn't your fault. It wasn't your fault. What happened was not. Your. Fault. That was the mantra that you kept repeating as you walked home from work. You hadn't wanted to walk, you'd wanted to take your car, but alas, it was in the shop. So instead, you found yourself walking down the streets of the smallish town that you'd settled down in a month and a half ago. Well, settled down might not be the right choice of words. More like found a place to hide. Your keys were between your fingers. To be fair, you didn't really need them to take someone down, your extensive history with S.H.I.E.L.D. proved that. But that didn't stop your nerves. You'd been on edge since you left a month ago. Or rather, since it happened.  
You were sure that everyone at S.H.I.E.L.D. thought you left because of your breakup with Tony Stark. That was not the truth, however. The reason you left had happened in the days following the breakup. You'd caught him cheating, of course. What else would you expect from the great playboy, Tony Stark, but it still hurt. You'd broken up with him right there. You hated that everyone who had warned you about him was right, but in the end, they were, and nothing could take back the time you spent together so that was fine. You weren’t going to dwell on it.  
But the reason you left. That had happened in the days following your breakup. You'd been at a bar. It was your day off and you were still angry as hell about the billionaire's betrayal. You were very drunk when he had approached you. So drunk you didn't even notice when he slipped something into your sixth, maybe seventh drink. And then he had done it. He had taken you back to his house and he had done things. He touched you and you couldn't do anything to stop him. And when you woke up in the morning, you felt so empty inside. You'd turned in your resignation to Fury the next day. If you weren't good enough to stop him, how could you be a good agent?  
With your new job, you couldn't exactly afford the therapy sessions that you went to twice a week, but your rich older sister had offered, or rather, insisted that she pay for them. You'd been hesitant but it seemed to be helping. That was where you'd gotten the mantra. It wasn't your fault. It wasn't your fault. What happened was not. Your. Fault.  
There'd been a lot of changes after it happened. Your new male coworkers learned quickly not to touch you. You stopped drinking too. And you didn't let anyone into your life.  
You'd been successful so far. The only ones who knew your current whereabouts were Fury and your older sister. That was how you liked it. You knew that if any of the Avengers found your current location, you'd be screwed. They'd come for you and you'd have to go back. You didn't think you could go back.  
When you arrived at your apartment that night, after you'd locked the door, armed the alarm, and made use of the three deadbolts you'd installed upon moving in, you wrote in the journal that your therapist had told you to start keeping. You didn't like doing it, but at this point, you'd do anything to stop feeling the way you were. Suddenly, there was a knock on your door. You grabbed a knife out of the kitchen before coming to the door, opening all of the locks and peeking at who it was. And of course, it was none other than Natasha Romanoff. One of your close friends.  
"So this is where you snuck off to." She smirked.  
"How'd you find me?" Your voice was venomous.  
"(Y/N), you know me, I figured it out."  
"Fury told you." You sighed.  
"He didn't exactly tell me, per your request he just 'accidentally' left the file out on his desk for me to find."  
"Of course he did." You sighed deeper.  
"Will you let me in?" She asked.  
You opened the door wide enough for her to get through and made your way over to the kitchen to return the knife to its rightful place. You knew Natasha was watching you, but you didn't much care. That had seemed to become your attitude recently, most things just don't matter.  
“Why are you here, Natasha?"  
"Can't I just be here to see a friend?"  
"That's not how you work."  
"Very true." She paused. "I'm here to convince you to come back."  
"No." You exclaimed immediately.  
"(Y/N)."  
"Did Tony put you up to this?" You were on defense now.  
"No, he didn't, I didn't even tell him that I know where you are."  
"Good. Because I'm not coming back."  
"Please, (Y/N)."  
"No, I'm not. I'm done."  
"(Y/N), please. Ever since you left, Tony's drinking has only gotten worse. We need your help."  
"Natasha, he's not my problem anymore. It's not my job to swoop in and fix whatever mess he's gotten himself into, and quite frankly, I've got my own shit to deal with right now." You were angry and practically shaking. Over the past month and a half, you'd begun to associate the Avengers Tower and S.H.I.E.L.D. with the person you were before. And you didn't need to relive any of that. Besides, you only had another six weeks in this place and then you were moving to a completely different country.  
"Don't come back for him then. Come back for me. I miss my mission partner."  
"Look, Natasha, it's not going to happen. No amount of convincing or threatening is going to bring me back so don't waste your energy."  
"(Y/N), what happened to you?" Her tone had changed, it was softer. "There was a lot of talk at S.H.I.E.L.D. after you left. Most thought you left to get away from Tony but I know that's not right. Others think something else happened. Some say that it was a mission gone south, but the theory that sounds the most accurate to me is the one I heard from Jemma. She thinks that something happened in your personal life." She looked over at you. "You're too good of an agent to spook over a mission gone wrong."  
"Natasha," You were doing your best to calm yourself down. "Please drop it." Your eyes were practically begging.  
"Fine," She raised her hands in defeat, "But don't think I won't stop trying to get you to come back."  
"You're not going to convince me."  
"Oh, I will."  
"I'm tired, I'm gonna go to bed. You can have the guest bedroom tonight, but I need you gone by the time I get home from work tomorrow, please." Your 'please' was begging again.  
"(Y/N), it's only seven thirty, you can't possibly be that tired."  
"Whatever." You shrugged before heading to your room.  
When you got up the next morning, there was no sign that the redhead had ever been in your apartment, just a note on the counter. 

(Y/N),  
Got a mission from Fury, had to head out. Don't think this means I've given up on bringing you back. I stole your cellphone to get your number while you were asleep so you can expect regular calls. :).  
\--Romanoff

And that was it. She didn't contact you or show up at your house again for three whole weeks. When she finally did call you, you'd stopped expecting her to. She told you about the details of the mission she'd been on and apologized for not being able to contact you while she spent three weeks deep undercover. You weren't happy she called but it did kind of feel a bit nice to talk to someone outside of the mandatory work conversations and occasional phone call from your older sister.  
The last thing she told you before she hung up was that she was sending someone else to convince you in a few days. She refused to tell you who, so for the next three days, you spent every waking moment worrying that Tony would show up on your doorstep. He didn't, however.  
To be honest, the last person you expected to visit you was Bruce, you knew how much he hated traveling because he was afraid he might turn green. But there he was, tired but still with a smile on his face when you got home from work. You hoped he hadn't been waiting there long, and by the looks of him, he hadn't.  
"It's good to see you, (Y/N)." One of your favorite Avengers said softly as you opened up the door. Clearly, Natasha knew what she was doing if she sent Bruce to get you. If there was anyone who could convince you to come back, it was probably him.  
"It's good to see you too, Bruce." You replied. Somehow, he already seemed to know not to touch you, he didn't try to hug you like he usually did. You offered to make him some dinner, seeing as he'd had a day of traveling but he had graciously agreed to help.  
When you finally had a moment to sit down after you'd prepared pasta with the help of the small scientist, you realized how truly tired you were. You hadn't had a night of restful sleep in weeks and it was really starting to get to you.  
It didn't take long for Bruce to notice how you'd changed since he'd seen you leave the tower months ago. He noticed how tired you were and how much you seemed to look defeated. Even the way you dressed had changed. And your confidence was gone. The bright, outgoing (Y/N) was gone and replaced with this quiet, almost small person. He didn't even want to try to convince you to come home, he was afraid that he'd break you.  
The two of you sat on the couch, eating your pasta in silence. When he finished, he put his bowl on the coffee table in front of him and turned to sit cross-legged across from you.  
"(Y/N), I want you to be honest with me, are you okay?"  
You stayed silent for a moment.  
"Being one hundred percent honest? No. But I'm working through things."  
"Do you mind me asking what happened? Natasha told me that something happened." His voice was quieter than usual when he spoke.  
"I don't want to talk about it." Your body language changed immediately. You were back on edge. And he noticed it.  
"Okay, that's fine. We don't have to, if you don't want to."  
There was silence again.  
"So you know why I'm here." Bruce finally spoke.  
"Of course I do. Natasha wants me to come back."  
"(Y/N), it's not just her, you know that right? Everyone misses you."  
"I know, Bruce, believe me, but this isn't about them. I needed to get away, and I did. I don’t think it would be healthy for me to return."  
"And I understand that." Bruce said. You were grateful for the way he was taking this. He wasn't pushing things.  
"But will you at least consider it? It doesn't even have to be for long, you could do a weekend or something if that's what you wanted."  
"Maybe." You sighed a little.  
"Plus, I need your help in the lab." Bruce winced.  
"Ah, so the great scientist needs my help." You laughed.  
"As much as I don't want to admit it, I do. There’s some stuff that I’m just not good at. And I’m not asking Tony."  
"Okay, Bruce, I'll consider it. But only for me. And maybe for you, since you so badly need my help." You smiled and he smiled back.  
The two of you didn't do much after that. Bruce dropped the subject and you both decided that you might as well spend the night that he was staying with you watching movies like you used to do.  
The morning stayed uneventful too. When you emerged from your room after a shower, he'd made you eggs and a cup of coffee and was enjoying his own plate. You thanked him and chatted with him until you had to leave for work. 

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

After a few weeks, you got sick of Natasha's continued pestering. You agreed to come to the tower for one weekend. Friday to Monday. You had to stop there on your way to Norway anyway. It was the only place you could find a good flight into Oslo. They didn't need to know that it was just a stop along the way. You were in your last therapy session with the woman who had helped build you back up over the past few months. She'd already found some good options for you in Oslo of therapists and your sister had already informed you that she would continue to fund the attempts to restore your mental health.  
"What do you think about getting a cat?" She asked you.  
"What?" You were a bit confused. The question had come out of nowhere.  
"I think it would be a good idea for you. You claim you like to be alone, but clearly you like some sort of interaction, so a cat would be a good balance, and more importantly, not human."  
"I've never really thought about it, I guess."  
"Well, it's just something to think about."  
"I will." You smiled. You really liked the idea, actually.  
Your therapist checked the clock, "Oh, our session's over."  
You stood up, "Thank you. For everything."  
"(Y/N), it was my job to help you, I just hope that I did."  
"You definitely did." You gave her a quick hug and you were on your way. You'd shipped most of your stuff yesterday so that it would arrive at the house you would be sharing with a roommate on Tuesday so your apartment sat mostly empty. Only one or two boxes left that you swiftly dropped off at the post office on your way to the airport.  
Your flight was uneventful. Thankfully, you ended up next to a woman and her child who seemed to be about three years old. You spent most of it listening to music, and even wrote in the journalist that your therapist was still having you keep. When you arrived at the airport, Bruce was there to pick you up. That had been one of your rules upon agreeing to come to visit, Bruce had to be in charge of picking you up. He had a huge smile on his face when you saw him. You even tried to give him a hug. It felt uncomfortable at first but somehow, you were able to relax enough. When his hand brushed yours when he tried to help you get your suitcase into the car, you didn't flinch either.  
But you felt the anxiety in your stomach as soon as Bruce pulled up in front of the tower. He'd warned you that Tony was probably drunk, but even that didn't prepare you for the sight of your ex. Tony was dancing in the common area of the tower, singing horribly offkey and a song that no one could quite figure out. No one except you, of course. You knew the song. It had been the one that was playing when he told you that he loved you during a dance at one of his parties. That was too much for you. You rushed to the guest room that Bruce had set up for you without even saying hello to anyone.  
You only emerged when Bruce called you for dinner.  
"Ah, (Y/N), you're back!" Wanda called when she saw you.  
"It's good to see you." Steve said from his seat across the table.  
All of the greetings somehow seemed to get you, it felt like they were welcoming you back for good. But you weren't staying.  
"Let me be clear," You addressed everyone, "I'm not here for any of you. I'm only here because Bruce needs my help with something. And I leave on Tuesday morning."  
That shut the whole table up. Nobody was talking, not even Tony who was very hard to keep quiet, especially when he was drunk.  
Not much conversation ensued after that. Dinner was mostly silent. After they finished eating, Steve suggested a team movie night and everyone agreed so you found yourself sitting in your own chair, waiting for the team members to pick a movie.  
"I need a drink." Tony said, heading over to the bar he had had installed. "(Y/N), you want one?"  
"No, thank you." You did your best to politely decline.  
"Come on, you're my drinking buddy! You never turn down a drink!" He tried to hand you a glass of whiskey. You shoved it away.  
"Stop, Tony. I don't drink anymore." You said firmly. And everyone turned their heads. They were all too scared to say anything but you could see the shock on their faces.  
"Fine. I guess you really did change as much as Natasha said." He said grumpily.  
By the end of the movie, you were tired. You had wanted to go to bed hours ago, but you did now more than anything. And you wanted to escape this situation. You knew that everyone around you was acting like they were walking through a minefield when it came to you. You hated that. You wanted them to just act normally. Really, you didn’t want to be there in the first place, but you were there anyway. When the credits rolled, you quickly excused yourself and headed to your room for the night.  
You took a shower, trying to clean off all the dirt of the past day. Traveling didn’t exactly make you feel clean.  
That was another thing that had changed. Before, you could go days without showering, and you often did on some of your shitty missions. But now, you always had this urge, this need to be clean. As you let the water wash over you, you couldn’t help but start to think again. You started to think about what had happened. About how you had changed. And you began to spiral. Your hands were shaking as you pulled on your pajamas. There were tears in the corners of your eyes as you climbed into bed.  
“It wasn't your fault. It wasn't your fault. What happened was not. Your. Fault.” You whispered to yourself over and over again as you tried to find some semblance of sleep. But it wasn’t enough. You were sobbing now. You tried to force yourself back under control, your crying was loud now and you really didn’t want anyone to hear you. It wasn’t working. Nothing was working. You were sobbing and nothing was going to stop you. 

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

After the movie, Bruce had watched you leave in a rush. He watched Tony’s eyes follow you and he knew that Tony was wishing he could follow you, to help you with whatever was pushing you away. He dragged the still-drunk Tony to the lab. He’d made an instant-drunk cure a few months ago and had been saving it for an emergency, a mission or something. This seemed like an emergency. After convincing Tony that this was what he needed and handing him the glass of the “cure”, he sat down and he waited for it to kick in.  
It only took a few minutes for Tony to return to his sober self.  
“I don’t understand how I can help her. I’m sure she hates me now.”  
“Tony, just try. You never know. She’s changed in the months since she left.”  
“I know.” 

And that was how Tony Stark, genius, billionaire, playboy, philanthropist, ended up right outside of your room, listening to you sob. He didn’t quite know what to do. If the two of you were still together, he wouldn’t have hesitated to enter the room and comfort you in any way that you needed, but he didn’t know where the two of you stood now. So he was sitting outside of your room, trying to figure out what to do.  
He decided that he should try to help you. It was the right thing to do, and if you didn’t want him there, you could easily kick him out and he’d go on his way without question. It seemed like a solid plan. He knocked twice on your door before entering. The light was off and only the light from the hallway illuminated a small portion of the room. It was enough for him to see the small shape of you underneath the blankets. He carefully walked through the room, hoping that he wasn’t going to step on anything, and turned on the lamp. When you rolled over to see who had invaded your room, you were almost shocked to see Tony standing over you. You’d assumed that someone had sent his drunk ass to bed. Apparently, that was not the case. You turned back over.  
Tony still wasn’t quite sure what to do. He decided that rubbing your back was a safe bet. He was wrong. As soon as his hand made contact with your back, you jerked away. He didn’t try to touch you again after that. But he did try to talk to you.  
“(Y/N), I know I hurt you, and I’m really really sorry. I can’t tell you how much I regret what happened. I know that that’s no reason for you to forgive me, and I don’t expect you to, but will you at least tell me what’s wrong?” He asked, sitting down on the opposite side of the bed.  
You tried to gain control of your sobs again, this time with a little more success. “Tony, I’m fine. I don’t need your help.” You told him through your tears.  
“If you won’t talk to me, will you talk to someone else? Bruce? Natasha? Just someone, please?” His voice sounded almost desperate.  
“That’s what my therapist is for.” You responded. You weren’t going to talk to anyone in the tower, no matter how much they pushed you.  
“Alright, fine.” He gave up. “I hope you feel better.” He said before getting up and exiting the room.  
It took you a while after that to calm down enough to sleep. Somehow, Tony’s appearance had made you feel worse than before. When you finally fell asleep, your eyes were tired, a direct result of the amount of crying that you had just done.  
The next morning, you had huge bags under your eyes and it still looked a little like you’d been crying. You did your best to hide it, washing your face twice before heading down to the common area, but you only managed to hide the crying eyes, the bags under them still prominent.  
Steve was making pancakes when you arrived. Everyone greeted you and wished you a good morning. You smiled and nodded and responded with a lot of “You too.”s. Steve put a plate of pancakes in front of you as soon as you sat down and you thanked him.  
“How’d you sleep?” He asked.  
“Not too well.” You admitted honestly.  
“Aw, that’s too bad.”  
You nodded, mouth already full of pancakes. You’d never admit it but you thought that Steve made the best pancakes. If there was anything that you were happy to have back on your trip to the tower, it was the taste of his pancakes. You savored every bite before finding a spot in the corner of the couch to text your soon-to-be roommate.  
When you’d mentioned that you were looking for a place to live on one of your visits to the school you were going to begin teaching at, one of the teachers, a science teacher, had told you that she was looking for a roommate and offered you the wonderful position of “roommate”. You’d gladly accepted and now you had a new roommate. She was originally from the UK and her name was Katie. Ever since you’d agreed to share an apartment, the two of you had been texting back and forth, trying to get to know each other. You two were very similar and had begun to text more regularly, not just for the purpose of getting to know each other. And right now, you needed a bit of an escape. 

(Y/N): Hey, how’s it going?  
Katie: Hey! It’s going pretty well, I got the first of your boxes last night. :)  
(Y/N): Ooooh...which one?  
Katie: I dunno, I didn’t open it. Figured I’d leave it for you. How’s the tower?  
(Y/N): Exactly as bad as I expected it to be.  
Katie: Awww, I’m sorry. At least you’ve only got a few more days. And then you’ll be here!  
(Y/N): Only a few more days. 

“Who’re you texting?” Natasha asked, looking over your shoulder.  
“Nobody.” You quickly closed your messaging app.  
“You were texting someone, (Y/N). Perhaps a new love interest?”  
“Natasha!”  
“What? I was just making an observation.”  
“No, she’s not a love interest.”  
“Oh, so it’s a ‘she’.”  
“Natasha!”  
“I didn’t say anything! You’re the one that happened to reveal some information about the person that you were texting.”  
You sighed and quickly texted Katie that you had to go and you’d talk to her later. Her response made you smile.  
“Awww, she made you smile!”  
“Stop it, Natasha!” You said. You noticed that Tony had been watching you. His face was sad. It didn’t appear that he’d had anything to drink today, so every expression you saw on his face was real.  
“Fine, whatever you say. You can just go back to texting whoever she is.” She laughed a little as she headed towards the training room.  
As you sat there, going through your phone, you knew that Tony was watching you. He had been since Natasha had brought attention to you. You, however, hadn’t stopped thinking about how Natasha couldn’t seem to leave you alone. You were thinking about how she was in the training room and how working out in there might actually feel good. You hadn’t trained at all since the day that you’d resigned from S.H.I.E.L.D. months ago.  
You decided that you might as well, it would at least give you something to do. And hopefully, you’d get away from Tony’s gaze. After heading to your room to change into some better workout clothes, you found yourself in front of a punching bag. You’d forgotten how good it felt to beat all of your problems out on one of the many punching bags in the training room. You’d plugged in your earbuds upon arrival, hoping that it would show the others that you didn’t want to be disturbed. Thankfully, it worked and you were left in your own little world for a while, with nothing but your fists and your thoughts.  
Usually, being left alone with your thoughts was a bad thing, and it was, at the beginning. As time passed, your thoughts shifted from all of the anxious and angry thoughts to those of your new life that was only a few days away. You only had two more days, not counting today, until your flight to Oslo. And you didn’t plan on looking back.  
When you finally sent your fist into the bag for the last time, you were tired. You didn’t really know what you were going to do with the rest of your day, but you knew that it probably included a nap.  
You had to walk through the common room to get back to the guest room that you had chosen to stay in. It was almost empty, everyone had moved onto their daily activities. Everyone except Tony. He was sitting at the table, drinking a cup of coffee and typing something on a computer when you entered the room. You nodded a quick hello at him, hoping he wouldn’t try for something more. He didn’t. He had taken a hint after last night.  
You did, in fact, take a nap when you arrived in your room, and when you awoke, it was already lunchtime. You grabbed your new work computer from the top of the dresser and headed to the common area to find something to eat. This time, Clint was the cook. He was making grilled cheeses for everyone and you gladly accepted the one he gave you. That was another thing that you had missed during your time away from the tower, the fact that you hardly ever had to cook.  
You took a seat at the end of the table and opened your computer, setting to work on the emails you had to respond to and to work on a few other things pertaining to the curriculum you were going to be teaching. As the others started to arrive in the common room, you found it harder and harder to focus. You gave up on the important stuff and decided to respond to some emails that you had from other teachers. Bruce sat down in the seat next to you, reading a book while he ate. Neither of you even bothered to speak to each other and that was just perfect.  
When you finished eating, you returned to your room, this time to just play around on your phone and avoid social interaction. Generally, you were uncomfortable with being around all of them. They all knew that something had changed in you and really wanted to know why. You’d been sure to protect your mind around Wanda, you didn’t want her reading your thoughts. You spent the rest of your day that way, only emerging to eat dinner.

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

The following morning, Bruce knocked on your door. You were a little surprised, it was still somewhat early and you didn’t really expect him, of all people to bother you. But you opened it anyway. You’d been up for a long time.  
“Hey, Bruce, what’s up?” You asked.  
“Hey, (Y/N), could you come to the common room for a minute.”  
“Sure,” You responded, confused.  
You followed him into the large room. Everyone was there, sitting on couches, chairs, and even the floor. As soon as you entered, you turned to leave.  
“No, I’m not doing this, whatever this is, I’m not doing this.” You shook your head. But Thor was blocking the door. You were trapped.  
“(Y/N), you’re going to tell us what happened to you and until then, Thor is going to block the door.” Steve said as Bruce dragged you over to a chair.  
“No.” You said. “No, I don’t owe any of you anything.”  
“(Y/N), we care about you, we want to be able to help you, but we just don’t know how. You have to let us.” Steve tried again.  
“Fine! You want to know what’s going on? Ask Natasha! I know she’s got her suspicions, I’m sure she’s right, she always it is! But I’m not going to talk to you about this! I’m sorry that it’s such a burden to you, but I’m leaving in two days anyway!” You exclaimed angrily. You turned and shoved Thor out of the way, rushing to your room and locking the door. You fell into your bed and you cried. You didn’t want them to find out, you really didn’t. You didn’t need their help and you didn’t need their pity. But they found out anyway. 

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

After you had stormed out of the room, everyone turned to Natasha. You were right, she usually knew things like this. She looked down at the floor,  
“It’s not my place to say.”  
“Natasha!” Steve warned.  
But nobody was paying enough attention to Wanda and she successfully worked her way into Natasha mind.  
“No!” She gasped as her hand came over her mouth in some sort of shock.  
Natasha nodded grimly.  
“I’ll tell you all.” She finally said, “But I won’t tell Tony. Tony, you need to hear this from (Y/N).”  
“Fine.” He sighed and rushed out of the room to find you.  
When he arrived at your locked door, he quickly asked F.R.I.D.A.Y. to override it. She did and soon, he was back on the empty side of your bed, just as he had been two nights ago.  
“(Y/N)? Please tell me what happened. I just want to help you.” He whispered, his voice sad. “Natasha wouldn’t tell me, she told me I should hear it from you.”  
You sniffled quietly.  
“(Y/N), please.” His voice was desperate now.  
“No. You’re going to be so angry.” You whispered. “And then you’re going to hate yourself like you always do.” You kept going. “And then you’re going to pity me. And I don’t want any of those things.”  
“Fine, I promise, I will not get angry, I will not hate myself, and I will not pity you.”  
You sat up. “You’re not going to be able to keep that promise.”  
“(Y/N), please tell me.” He pleaded.  
You tucked your knees into your chest. You really didn’t want to tell him, but it didn’t seem fair for him not to know when you were sure that Natasha had already informed everyone else.  
“When I caught you with that woman,” You started. “I was angry. A couple days later, when I had my day off, I went to a bar. I just wanted to drink so I didn’t have to think about everything. And I did. But then this guy-” your voice broke. “But then this guy came up to me. He offered to order me a drink and I gladly accepted. I didn’t, I didn’t realize that he slipped something into it.” You paused. You weren’t sure you could get through this.  
“No.” Tony said. “No, please don’t tell me it’s what I think it is.” His voice broke too.  
You nodded, “He, he, he, took me back to his house and,” You stopped again. You couldn’t seem to get the words out. You’d never actually said it before. You just couldn’t. But you were going to, you were determined. If you were going to talk about it, you were going to get to the milestone that your therapist had been trying to get you to from the beginning. “He, he touched me.” You finally finished. And to be honest, it felt good. It felt good to say it.  
“No.” Tony was shaking his head, tears in his eyes to match yours.  
“Yes.” You whispered, your voice still shaky.  
“So that’s why you left. Everyone blamed me for weeks, telling me it was my fault you were gone.” He whispered.  
“I’m sorry.” You returned.  
“No, no,” He was shaking his head again, “It was not your fault at all. Nothing was your fault. You have nothing to apologize for.” He looked down before he spoke again, “Can I hug you?”  
“Yes,” You nodded. For some reason, you felt like you could trust him again. Maybe it was just the fact that he’d asked. That he wanted to make sure you were comfortable with him.  
You stayed that way for a few minutes, hugging each other, both crying. It felt good. You knew that he still loved you, but you couldn’t honestly say that you still felt that way about him. When you finally pulled away, you wiped the tears from your eyes.  
“Okay, that’s enough crying.” You laughed a little. “I’ve been doing too much of that lately.”  
Tony did his best to smile back at you. The both of you talked for a while. It felt nice to have someone to talk to freely. Even though you had Katie, the friendship was still fresh, and most of it had been formed through emails and text messages.  
“We should probably go find the others.” You said. “I’m sure they want to stare at me with their looks of pity.”  
“You know, it’s okay to allow them to feel bad about what happened.”  
“I know. It’s just weird. And I guess I should tell you all the other reason why I’m here since we’re doing the whole ‘revealing the truth’ thing right now.”  
“What other reason would you be here?” He looked a little confused.  
“I’ll tell you when I tell the others.”  
“Fine.” He sighed with fake frustration.  
You followed him back to the common area where the other Avengers had hardly moved from the place they’d been in when you had left. You saw their faces and immediately regretted your decision to enter the room. But you were going to do this. Somehow, you’d found some determination and you knew that you should take advantage of it while you had it.  
“So, um, I’ve been informed that I should probably apologize for yelling at all of you.” You started.  
“You don’t have to-” Steve started but you interrupted.  
“No, Steve, I do. And I’m sorry. But since we’re apparently in the spirit of telling the truth, I should probably tell you the other reason that I’m here.” You paused. “I didn’t want to come here, I think that was made pretty obvious, but I came anyway. Part of that was to get Natasha off my back, but the other part was that I had to come to New York City anyway.”  
“Why did you have to come to New York City?” Tony asked.  
“The cheapest way to fly to Oslo for the next few months was to stop in New York City.”  
“Why would you need to get to Oslo?” Bruce asked, confused.  
“I got a new job there and so I’m moving.” You said really fast, hoping that no one actually understood you. You knew that they wouldn’t take this news well.  
“You’re moving to Oslo?” Steve asked.  
“Yes.” You winced a little.  
“What’s your new job?” Tony asked quietly. You were sure he was the one taking this the hardest.  
“I’m going to be teaching high school math.” You said.  
“You know, it’s kind of crazy, but I can totally picture you as a teacher.” Bruce smiled.  
“It was my dream job before S.H.I.E.L.D. picked me up.” You shrugged.  
“I’m proud of you for going for it.” He did his best to support you while the others were still trying to get over the initial surprise. 

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

The morning of your departure arrived and you weren’t quite as happy about it as you had been when you arrived. Tony had convinced you to let him fly you there in a Quinjet rather than taking a flight. He’d been oddly overprotective of you since you’d told him everything. Things had gotten better for you after you had conversations with everyone pertaining to your move and other things. And now, you were leaving. You promised to visit regularly and that any of them could come visit you whenever, as long as they set up a good time with you.  
After you said your goodbyes, you boarded the jet with Tony, sending one final text to Katie before you surprised her with an early arrival later today. Quinjets were faster than regular passenger planes and it was going to cut your flight time nearly in half.  
It was about an hour into the flight when Tony finally spoke to you. He put the plane into autopilot mode and turn his chair to face you.  
“So tell me about this Katie that you’re constantly texting.”  
“Uhh, she’s gonna be my roommate and my coworker. We’ve been creating a friendship over text for the last month so that we don’t start out not knowing each other at all as roommates.”  
“And…?”  
“And what?”  
“You missed something.”  
“What?”  
“You, (Y/N), are totally in love with her.”  
“I am not! We’ve hardly had any actual time together that isn’t through technology.”  
“That doesn’t change the fact that you likeeeeeee her.”  
“I don’t!”  
“Lying doesn’t look good on you, (Y/N).”  
“Yeah, well I’m not lying!”  
“Whatever you say.” He laughed a little before turning back to the front and taking the plane off of autopilot.  
You spent the rest of the flight sleeping. Flying always made you tired. When you arrived on the private airfield Tony had arranged to keep the Quinjet on for a few hours, he woke you softly before dragging you to the car. He put himself in the driver’s seat before you could even argue.  
The ride to your new apartment wasn’t that long, and soon, you were knocking on the front door, Tony standing behind you. The lock clicked and the knob turned and then, you were face to face with Katie.  
“Surprise!” You laughed a little.  
“Oh my god, (Y/N)!” She threw her arms around you and pulled you into a huge hug. “I wasn’t expecting you for a few more hours!”  
“Yeah, well I got a faster ride.” You smiled.  
“Who’s this?” She pointed at the figure behind you.  
“Oh!” You stepped out of the way. “This is my faster ride.”  
“Tony Stark.” He said, extending his hand.  
“Nice to meet you, Tony Stark. You’re welcome to come on in.”  
He looked over at you, “Thank you for the invitation, but I have to get back to New York City, and I’m sure you want to give (Y/N) the grand tour.”  
“Thank you, Tony.” You turned to him, “For everything.” You gave him a hug.  
“Any time.” He winked at you. “I’ll see you soon?”  
“See you soon.”  
“Don’t worry, I already got a copy of the schedule for all of your school breaks, don’t think you can get out of visiting us!” He called as he walked down the halls.  
“Of course you did.” You called back before entering the apartment.  
“So you know Tony Stark?” She asked, giggling a little.  
“Shh,” You laughed, “I don’t actually want anyone to know.”  
“Okay, but I think it’s pretty cool.”  
You smiled. “It stopped being cool when he stopped wearing pants in the lab.”  
“Ewwwww!”  
“Yep.” You both were laughing. 

You were going to like this new life, you just knew it.


End file.
